ACT FOUR

FADE IN:

INT. MAIN DECK - MORNING

Several scenes of Gabrielle helping pirates measure out and cut lengths of dried reed they use in their daily tasks.

INTERCUT TO:

INT. MAIN DECK - MORNING

Xena sitting with another group of pirates, making rope.

INTERCUT TO:

INT. MAIN DECK - EARLY AFTERNOON

Gabrielle helping the men haul up bales of hay from a secure hold and tossing them onto the deck.

INTERCUT TO:

INT. MAIN DECK - AFTERNOON

Xena holding a sewing class.  The men laugh as one of their fellows holds up a pair of breeches with the waist sewn shut and one of the legs sewn to his sleeve. Xena rolls her eyes and uses her breast dagger to cut the man free from his breeches. 

INTERCUT TO:

INT. MAIN DECK - LATE AFTERNOON

Gabrielle helps haul out large pots of renderings and fish oils that the pirates use to waterproof the wood.  All the pirates lean forward and crane their necks as Gabrielle bends over the pot.  They all snap to pale-faced and sweating attention as Xena shoots them a look hot enough to sear their boots to the decking.

INTERCUT TO:

INT. CAPTAIN’S CABIN - EARLY EVENING

Xena and Gabrielle pull away from a deep kiss.  Gabrielle lifts the bottle Xena’s given her and waggles it.  She tips her head back and mock-sips the clear liquid, smirking at the look Xena gives her.

With a kiss to the cheek and another waggle of the bottle, Gabrielle is gone, leaving Xena to stare after her with her hands on hips, shaking her head.

INTERCUT TO:

INT. MAIN DECK - EARLY EVENING

Gabrielle pours the liquid from the vial into a dipper of fresh water.  Walking over to the groggily conscious Scarface, she tips his head back and holds the dipper to his lips.  For a long moment, it looks as if he’s going to refuse, but then his thirst gets the better of him and he drinks deeply from the dipper, then from a second that Gabrielle offers him.  Even though he tried to assault her, her touch is gentle and her eyes compassionate.

Scarface snarls at her and strains against his bonds with what little strength he’s managed to regain.

After making sure that he is unable to injure himself further, Gabrielle sighs and steps away.

INTERCUT TO:

EXT. CROW’S NEST - DUSK

PIRATE #5

LAND HO!!

CUT TO:

EXT. IKOS - DUSK

A lone man stands atop a high watchtower, bent forward at the waist and peering through squinting eyes out to sea.

LOOKOUT

Ship ahoy!!

Four men, grouped around the bottom of the tower strain forward, but are unable to see anything in the rapidly encroaching twilight.

HEAD GUARD

From where?  Can you

get a make on it?

LOOKOUT

From the west!

There’s a short pause as he holds a very primitive “seeing glass” to his eye.

LOOKOUT

(cont’d)

She bears the marks

of the Buzzard’s Wing!

The head guard sneers.

HEAD GUARD

That’ll be Poxy Pete, that mangy

cur.  I warned him not to set one

hair of his louse-ridden skull near

this island again or I’d string him

up to the nearest yardarm and

skin him alive.  Double check,

now.  Best be sure it’s him.

LOOKOUT

Flyin’ his colors, sir! His men

are at the rails, all armed!

HEAD GUARD

Fall out, then, ya scurvy dogs!

Man the long boats and take

no prisoners!!  A hundred

dinars to the man who brings

me Poxy Pete’s head!!

With a loud cheer, fifty men bolt from their hiding places on the narrow strip of shoreline on the north side of the island.  They drag ten longboats into the water and quickly fill them, then set out toward the slowly approaching ship.

CUT TO:

EXT. SEA, JUST OUTSIDE THE BUZZARD’S WING - NIGHT

The longboats bump up against the Buzzard’s Wing’s hull as the men aboard them ready themselves for action.

INVADER

Avast, ye white livered squids!

Yer trespassin’ on Igor the

Black’s property.  Lay anchor

and prepare to be boarded!

There’s a long moment of silence.

INVADER

(cont’d)

Last warnin’, ya belly crawlin’

wharf rats!  Drop anchor and

prepare ta be boarded!! All

right then, you lot!  Over

the side!  Send em all

ta Davy Jones!

Hooting and hollering, several men jump onto the netting and scramble up the ship’s sides.  Others produce grappling hooks and board by climbing the ropes attached to them. 

CUT TO:

INT. BUZZARD’S WING MAIN DECK - NIGHT

The invaders stream onto the deck, swords and daggers at the ready.  With a shout, the first man plunges his sword through the belly of a pirate, then pulls it out and stares, slack jawed.

Another man neatly beheads a pirate with a clean stroke, then watches, wide eyed, as the head bounces and rolls to the mizzenmast, then stops.

Soon, all of the invaders are simply standing still, their weapons limp at their sides, eyes round in confusion and disbelief.

The leader makes his way through the “carnage”, eyes as wide as any of his men.

LEADER

Damnation seize my soul!

What is all this?!?

INVADER

We been crimped, sir!  These

are naught but straw dummies

someone made up fer fun.

LEADER

Crimped my arse!  No bunch a

cowardly whelps hornswaggles me!

Poxy Pete is aboard this ship and

not one man will rest until we

find him!  On your toes, men!

INVADERS
AYE SIR!!

CUT TO:

EXT. SHALLOWS - NIGHT

In the shallows, several reeds disappear into the water to be replaced by the heads of Xena, Gabrielle, and the crew of the Buzzard’s Wing.  Their faces are almost impossible to see, blackened as they are from generous applications of grease and fish oils.

BLONDEBEARD

(whispered amazement)

By thunder!  If I wasn’t seein’

it with me own eyes, I

wouldn’t be believin’ it.

He turns stunned eyes to Xena and Gabrielle.

BLONDEBEARD

(cont’d)

How…?

Gabrielle smirks.

GABRIELLE

(offhandedly)

Oh, just a little something

we picked up in Troy.

Xena rolls her eyes.

BLONDEBEARD

It’s a thing o’beauty all right.

But what about Scarface?

He’s sure to rat us out, the

henhearted numbskull.

GABRIELLE

(wider smirk)

I wouldn’t worry about that.

It’s nothing that a little

linseed root won’t cure.

XENA

Let’s get moving.

CUT TO:

INT. BUZZARD’S WING - NIGHT

INVADER

Sir!  Over here!

The leader strides up the steps to the wheelhouse and looks down in the direction that his compatriot is pointing.  There, bound and gagged and tied to the wheel, lies Scarface.

LEADER

Poseidon’s Trident!  Scarface?

What in Tartarus’ bloody

deep are ye doin’ aboard

this bilge-laden scow??

SCARFACE

Mmph!  Mmmph!!

Reaching down with the tip of his sword, the leader cuts the gag from Scarface’s mouth.

LEADER

Talk, ya scallywag!  Ye

part of this tomfoolery?

SCARFACE

Theena!  Theena!  Theena

‘id dis, neddlin’ nitch!

LEADER

What?  Speak like ya got a

tongue in yer head, ya damn

fool!  I’m not understandin’ ya!

Scarface struggles against his bonds, redfaced with anger.

SCARFACE

THEENA!!!  The thole

goat and thwim to thore!

Height da Glack!

The leader looks at his fellow.

LEADER

Ye ken what he’s

tryin ta say?

INVADER

Somethin’ about

stealin’ a goat?

SCARFACE

Goat!  Goat!! GOAT!!

He swings his head in wild arcs, ostensibly trying to point to what he’s talking about.

INVADER

(contemplating)

I think he’s gone off his

nut.  Lookit ‘im foamin

at the mouth like that.

INVADER #2

Cursed by the gods, me

thinks.  Bad one too, from

the looks of it, poor sop.

SCARFACE

THEEEEENNNAAAA!!!!!!

The men step back in disgust as copious amounts of spittle fly from his lips, coating their boots, pantlegs, and the deck liberally.

INVADER

Best ta put him out

of his misery, no?

LEADER

Nay. The Black’s been knowin

him since he was knee high to

a tadpole.  Best leave him here

for now.  Get on with the search!

I want Poxy Pete’s head!

SCARFACE

(enraged)

THEEENAAAAAAA!!!!

CUT TO:

EXT. IKOS SHORE - NIGHT

Ikos is a rather barren piece of dirt and rock.  A few wilted trees struggle valiantly against the prevailing winds, their roots sunk shallow in the gritty sand of the narrow strip of beach that surrounds the island.  It is dominated by a tall, flat-topped cliff with sheer sides.  At the top of the cliff, a huge walled fortress stands like a conquering hero surveying his newly acquired territories.  A long, steep row of steps have been carved into the unforgiving, sun-bleached rock, and guards stand at every third step, torches blazing and weapons at the ready.  It is the only entrance to the fortress.

Xena’s group of thirty-one is surprisingly unseen as they make their way in small groups silently ashore, far away from the main fortress’ main gate and its attendant guards.

Xena and Blonde Beard step off to one side as the others stand quietly in place, awaiting the next phase of the evening’s festivities.

XENA

You know what to do.

BLONDEBEARD

Aye, Cap’n, I’m sure. Been

doin’ stuff like this since I

was a wee guppy.  We’ll be

ready, no worries on that.

Xena nods.

XENA

All right, then.  Good luck.

BLONDEBEARD

Fair winds to ya, Cap’n.

See ya soon.

The two shake hands, then Blonde Beard beckons his group, fifteen in all and they disappear into the darkness, silent as wraiths.

XENA

The rest of you, follow me.

CUT TO:

EXT. REAR OF CLIFF - NIGHT

Thirteen men and one woman line flat against the sheer wall of the cliff as Xena, a step away, stares along the top of the wall timing the guards who walk steady patterns around the perimeter. 

Unlike the guards who man the posts in front of the fortress, these guards seem rather lax in their duties, though by the sound of raucous laughter and music heard just above the thunder of the surf, Xena can guess why.

After another moment, she nods to herself, then looks at several men who are awaiting her signal, coils of rope in their arms.

XENA

Now.

Five grappling hooks, their clawed arms padded, land silently over the lip of the fortress’ wall.  The pirates pull on them, insuring a snug fit, and nod to their Captain.

XENA

(cont’d)

Now.

In groups of five, the pirates scramble up the cliff face and the wall, leaping over and squatting flush against it.  Xena and Gabrielle go up next.  The maneuver is accomplished quickly, silently, and with no detection.

CUT TO:

EXT. FORTRESS WALL - NIGHT

A lone guard steps around the corner and feels the strength drain from his body as two fingers jab into his neck. 

Gabrielle steps forward and catches the torch as the man drops it.  As his knees hit the ground, Xena is there, tilting his face to meet hers.  The pirates look on in awe.

XENA

I’ve cut off the flow of blood to

your brain. You have thirty

seconds to tell me what I want

to know or you die.  Understand?

The guard nods frantically.

XENA

(cont’d)

Good.  I’m looking for a woman

and her two daughters.  They

were kidnapped half a moon

ago for ransom.  They are

the family of Andros, an

innkeeper from Perkotis.

GUARD

I… don’t…the Black ransoms

a lot of women and girls!

XENA

Ah, but see, these are special.

And I’d be very upset if I found

out that something had happened

to them.  I don’t think you’d like

to see me upset, would you?

The guard shakes his ‘no’ even more frantically.

XENA

(cont’d)

Didn’t think so.

She holds out a hand, and Gabrielle slips a waterproofed pouch into it.  Opening the pouch, she shakes out a small painting, no larger than her hand.  On it is an excellent rendering of Andros and his family.  She shows it to the paralyzed guard.

XENA

(cont’d)

Recognize them?

The man squints, and Gabrielle helpfully lowers the torch for him.

GUARD

I… I think so!  They’re… being

kept… on the third floor, in the

east wing!  Please!  Can’t....

XENA

How sure are you?

GUARD

Sure!  Sure!  Please!

XENA

Is there another way into the

fortress besides the front door?

GUARD

Guard’s entrance!  Please!

To… to the east!

XENA

Good.

His neck is jabbed again, and a right cross sends him into slumberland.

Xena hands the pouch back to Gabrielle, takes the torch, and eyes her men.

XENA

(cont’d)

Let’s go.

CUT TO:

EXT. GUARD ENTRANCE - NIGHT

Two guards man the entrance.  Both look to their left as a humming noise comes from the darkness beyond.  Before they can make a move, Xena’s chakram takes them out of the picture and they slump to the ground on either side of the door.  A pirate named Two Shakes presses his ear against the door, listening.  Taking a deep breath, he grasps the handle and pulls.  The interior is deserted.  He beckons them forward.

Seven pirates enter through the now opened door.  Xena touches Gabrielle’s arm just as she’s about to follow.

XENA

Fifteen minutes.  If you’re

not back by then....

Gabrielle smiles and pat’s Xena’s belly.

GABRIELLE

We’ll be fine.  Now go

raise some Tartarus.

Standing on her tiptoes, she steals a kiss from Xena’s lips. 

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

For luck.

She then disappears through the doorway and closes it softly behind her.  Xena looks at the closed portal for another moment, then over at the remaining crew.

XENA

Let’s do it.

CUT TO:

INT. CORRIDORS - NIGHT

Gabrielle pushes to the front and leads the men through the empty corridors of an unused section of the fortress judging from the dust on the floor and walls.

GABRIELLE

(muttering)

Stairs have gotta be

around here somewhere.

TWO SHAKES

Here they be, Ma’am.

GABRIELLE
(smiling)

Thanks!

The pirate tips his kerchief to her to the guffaws of his fellows. He swats a few and they move on.

At the top of the steps stand four heavily armed guards.  They hear the tread of bodies coming toward them, and one steps forward, torch raised.

GUARD

Who goes there?

Gabrielle holds up a finger to her compatriots, gesturing for them to wait and follow her lead.

Pulling the flimsy top off of her shoulders and displaying her assets to their best advantage, she slinks up the remaining steps, her most seductive smile gracing her face.

GABRIELLE

(throatily)

Hello, boys. The Black thought

you might be lonely up here all by

yourselves, so he sent me over to….

(broader smile)

…keep you company.

The men peer down at Gabrielle’s lovely face and form and leer.  The leader steps back, arms wide in invitation.

With a coy smile, Gabrielle picks her way up the stairs, then nails the leader in the gut with a hard right, and straightens him back up with a knee to the nose.  He flies back, knocking the two down in back of him, and she attacks the forth with a low kick to the shin, and a sweeping kick to the shoulder. He topples into an unconscious heap on top of the rest.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

C’mon up, guys!